Living by Faith

2 Corinthians 5:7

“For we live by faith, and not by sight.”

On January 1st of this year I was spending time with the Lord praying for the new year and that he would show me what He had for me this year. He gave me a word to represent what He had for the up coming year, FAITH. Along with that word He gave me the above verse. As January continued and turned into February Live by Faith became my motto for the year. I had no idea how God would ask me to step out in faith throughout 2018 but I knew that if He asked me to take a step of faith I would say yes! As the year progressed there were times I had to take little steps of faith and I did so willingly. There were also times that faith was what I clung to. When protests and violence started in Nicaragua I clung to the phrase live by faith because the country I called home was facing a time of uncertainty and my normal was no longer there. There was not much I could control but I could keep living by faith. I took a huge step of faith when I left Nicaragua on April 23 to take two weeks away and focus on self care. The situation in Nicaragua hit me hard and fear took control. I was a mess. I don’t remember much about those two weeks in the states except that God worked hard on my heart and helped me focus on my relationship with Him. I returned to Nicaragua at the end of those two weeks ready to finish the year strong even though the situation in Nicaragua was still not normal. I had my fear better controlled and I stepped out in faith to return to Nicaragua and my students. I could feel God’s presence physically with me upon my return to Nicaragua and my return to my students. Unfortunately the protests and violence continued to the point that it was getting harder and harder to have school because we did not know if it would be safe for our students to get there. On May 17 our school board and admin decided due to the uncertainty and safety of our students we would finish the last two weeks of school online. After that I packed up my classroom said see you later to my colleagues and friends and then packed a carry on for the summer (why I only packed a carry on of clothes I don’t know but my emotions were all over the place). Due to flight prices and feeling like God was asking me to leave right away even though I didn’t want to, I left Nicaragua on May 19. As I sat on the plane tears silently fell from my eyes as I thought of all my students and friends who were still there. I cried for Nicaragua, for a place I loved and called home. I cried for the loss of normalcy. I don’t remember much of that flight other than I was listening to worship music and I heard 5 songs in a row with a phrase about God fighting for me and Him knowing whats best for me. I prayed that God would show me his plan for my unexpected time in the states and that He would guide me. Soon after I arrived in Michigan I felt God leading me into a time of discernment. At the time I saw it as an invitation to discern what God had for me this summer. Originally I only planned to be in the states for 4 weeks and suddenly I had 2 months. Right away God led me to a few volunteering opportunities which have been a huge blessing. God then started to lead me in another direction for discernment, a direction I did not want to follow. Throughout the past year I spent time praying and discerning if God wanted me to return to Nicaragua next year and each time I felt him saying YES OF COURSE. When I started this time of discernment I never thought God would lead me into discerning to stepping away from NCA and Nicaragua, but that is exactly where He led me. When I started to sense that was what He was calling me to discern and pray about it I fought it really hard, that was not what something I wanted to even think about. I love NCA and I love Nicaragua how could I take a year off, especially at a time like this. I then brought others into the discernment with me because I wanted to be sure I was following the Lord’s plan. As I talked with my  family and friends,  I prayed and pleaded with God to let me return to Nicaragua but the more I pleaded the more I heard God asking “Do you trust me? Will you follow where I lead even if it is not your plan? Will you leave everything you own behind to follow my plan? My precious daughter do you trust me?” As I answered yes to those questions I was filled with a sense of sadness but also peace. Sadness because it was becoming clear that answering yes to those questions meant I would have to let go of a place, a people, and a school that mean so much to me, yet I was filled with peace because I knew God had a plan. He has a plan that I do not yet fully know. So it is with a saddened heart but also the peace of a knowing Father that I step out in faith and step away from teaching in Nicaragua. My heart hurts writing this. When I left Nicaragua a month ago I had every intention to be back in August. I only took a carry on with me, but our God works in mysterious ways. He kept me thinking I was returning for a reason, a reason I do not yet know. Having to make this decision is not easy, it is definitely not what I thought I would be doing, but I trust our heavenly Father and trust in his plan. I want to make sure that it is clear that I am not making this decision because of the unrest and violence in Nicaragua I am making this decision because I feel that this is where the Lord is leading. The unrest has forced me to take a step back and really invest in my relationship with the Lord. If you are reading this know that I appreciate you and your friendship. You all have been hugely supportive of my life in Nicaragua whether you were a part of my community in Nicaragua or you were a part of my support system around the world. I am so thankful for each of you and the way God has brought us all together in different ways for His kingdom. I am saddened that God is calling me away from Nicaragua, but I know He has a plan for me and for each one of you and I am excited to see how his plan unfolds. “For we live by faith, and not by sight.”

Abrazos y bendiciones

Angie

Because He Lives

The past two months have been filled with the unpredictable and clinging to God in times of trouble. For those who might not know, Nicaragua has been in a state of civil unrest for the past month and a half. Peaceful protests started on April 18 and quickly turned violent. The protests started in response to the government making changes to the social security system in Nicaragua to try and prevent it from going bankrupt.   However, the changes they made reduced pensions and forced employees and employers to pay more. People were not happy. This issue was the straw that broke the camels back. On April 19 we were going through a normal Thursday at school until we weren’t. I was informed at 11:30 that we would be sending kids home early due to large protests and road blocks. What I didn’t know at the time was the violence that was breaking out towards the protesters by the police. Arriving home after suddenly sending my kids home I turned on the news and my heart broke for Nicaragua, its people and my students. Since that Thursday in April my life and life in Nicaragua has been unpredictable and not much has gone according to the plans that were in place. The protests and violence have continued and road blocks have been put up. We attempted to have school for the four weeks following April 19, however during those 4 weeks we only had 5 full days of school, we had to cancel school 7 days, and we had 8 shortened days. Due to the unpredictability of the events in Managua and wanting to make sure our students and staff are safe it was decided by our administration and school board that we would finish the last 2.5 weeks of school online. I believe this was the best decision given our circumstances, but that does not make it easier. I never got to say goodbye to my kiddos or give them all one last hug before summer. I won’t ever have that group of amazing students all together in my class again. As I sent work online my heart broke because I could not teach them in person. My heart continues to break today as I finished entering grades and my second graders are no longer my second graders. My heart breaks because I continue to watch the news in Nicaragua and I don’t know if they are safe. My heart also breaks for Nicaragua, a country that has stolen my heart and is facing so much uncertainty. Nicaragua is on my heart constantly even though I am currently not there. Yesterday during church while we were singing the song Because He Lives (Amen) there was a part that stuck with me and has become my prayer and song for Nicaragua, my students, my community, and myself.

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds my life my future in His hands

Because He lives
Nicaragua can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds Nicaragua, its future in His hands

Because He lives
My students can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds my students, their future in His hands

Because He lives
We can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds our lives, our future in His hands

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds my life my future in His hands

Amidst all of the uncertainties, suffering and pain in Nicaragua and in the world our God is still in control and He holds us and our future in his hands. He loves us, He loves Nicaragua, He loves this world and He is with us. When life becomes uncertain remember to cling to the one who created you!

A Moment

The beginning of the school year is a crazy time for most teachers. There is a long to do list of things to get ready and materials to prepare. It is easy to get caught up in the business of it all and loose sight of that balance you were hoping to achieve this school year. A balance between school and life outside of school is hard for me to achieve because of the endless to do list and the desire to continually be a better teacher. It is so easy to get caught up in it all and lose track of the One who brought me here. It is easy to fall into the trap of trying to do in all by myself when I can’t and it’s also not healthy to try to do it all. I need to continually look to my All Knowing, peace giving Heavenly Father for guidance in each step.

I am not a perfect teacher and sometimes I get tangled up in all of my weaknesses, all the parts of teaching I am not good at, I lose myself in feeling inadequate. I forget to look to God to see where He is leading me as a teacher. He knows I will never be perfect and He created me with a unique set of gifts and abilities and He is equipping me as I go. I don’t need to be perfect I need to be willing to embrace every situation and grow and learn as I go while continually looking to my Father for guidance, peace, love and joy.

I was reminded of all of this last night while I was sitting on couch. I was sitting there sweating because that is a regular occurrence in Nicaragua and I was missing the cooler weather that is starting to make an appearance in Michigan. I was missing being able to snuggle under a blanket with a cup of tea or a latte without sweating. I decided I would try to get as close to that as I could. So I moved my fan right in front of the couch, made myself a chai latte, and curled up under a blanket. Was it exactly what I had been dreaming of? No but it was what I needed. God met me in that moment and reminded me through his word that I am not alone. In that moment my busy tired soul was renewed with the Peace of our Father and a reminder that He loves me more than I will ever be able to comprehend. I just need to continually draw close to Him.

Matthew 6:20-21

“Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.”

Prayer requests:

 ~Pray for my class, I have 28 students this year. They are great kids who are already blessing me, but it is a large group with a lot of special learning needs. 

     ~Pray for my assistant and the special education assistants who help students in my class. I am never the only adult in my class which I am thankful for! Please join me in praying for the awesome teachers who I get to teach with every day! I could not do this without them!

     ~Pray for me as I teach these 28 precious children! I love teaching but it is exhausting. Pray that the Lord would fill me with the joy, patience, and love that I need for each day! 

     ~Pray for me in my life outside of school. That I will be able to balance being a teacher and my life outside of school. It is easy to spend too much time on school stuff and become burnt out. 

     ~Pray for my community here. We have had a lot of people move back to the states and it is really hard when those people have become your close friends who feel like family. Pray that God would show me who He is calling me to welcome into our community! I want to reach out to those who are new to our community just like so many reached out to me when I first moved here. 

     ~Pray for my car. It is currently in the shop after not starting on Thursday. If you were at church this summer when the Benthem’s and I spoke you remember that my car has been one of my biggest frustrations. Pray that the repairs would be quick and inexpensive and that God would continue to work through these frustrations to bring me closer to Him. 

It’s the First Day of School Tomorrow!!!

Yippee Yippee its time for year three!!!

Tomorrow is the first day of school! Tomorrow begins my third year of teaching and I am really excited!

Over the past week I have been working hard setting up my classroom and preparing for the 28 kiddos that God has put in my class. Please join me in prayer for each one of these precious kiddos, for their families, for the learning that will take place this year, for our classroom community, for my educational assistant Miss Hernandez, for Miss Michelle the SOAAR volunteer who will be supporting students in my class and for me! God has already been up to some cool things in my classroom and in my life recently and it is just beginning!

Here are some photos of my newly redecorated classroom!!!

Bread, Milk, Cheese, and Blueberries

Do you remember the book or books that caused you to fall in love with reading? For many kids The Boxcar Children books ignite their love for learning! Many have read these books and second grade seems to be the year to read them! One of my favorite times of year is when I get to pull that old well loved book off the shelf and read the story of The Boxcar Children to my second graders. I fall in love with Henry, Jessie, Violet, and Benny all over again each year as I read the story with my second graders. This year I decided that we would have a Boxcar Children day. I planned a day of turning our desks into boxcars, eating a snack based on what they eat in the book, races like the free-for-all, and time to watch the Boxcar Children movie! This past Friday we enjoyed a day full of Boxcar Children fun. We drank out of cracked cups like Benny and some of my second graders even dressed up like some of the Boxcar Children! What a fun day that my students nor I will soon forget!

Top 5

This week I don’t have just one picture I have 5! I couldn’t decide which one to share so why not share all five? Right?! 

1. Friday marked the end of our 6th reading goal. For each goal my kiddos need to read books and take comprehension quizzes on those books. In order to read each goal they need to read at least 6 books and score 85 percent or higher on the quiz. For our past goals I have had anywhere from 12 to 20 of my 25 second graders make their reading goal. Not this month this month all 25 of my second graders reached their goal! This huge accomplishment was made by my second graders who had already reached their goal helping their friends reach theirs. It was a beautiful sight seeing my kiddos come together and help each other. I strive to make my classroom a community or family that works together and this week I saw that happen! 

2. This year in chapel we have started something new. Every once in a while we have a small lesson and then split off into small groups. Each teacher leads a group and the kids know their group by the color on their headband. I have had the privilege of leading the purple group! My group is make up of kids from PK1 through 2nd grade. Normally our small group time consists of prayers, sharing a snack together, and a short discussion. I truly enjoy this special time with these children of God! 

3. In science lately we have been learning about plants and animals. My high school aid led a project this week helping my kids make their own habitats. These two girls found two bottles on the playground and decided to make another habitat! It is fun to watch kids take what they are being taught and use it on the playground and at home! 

4. On Friday a lot of the high schoolers were going to be out of school for an activity. On Thursday I was talking to my friend who teaches high school math and she menshioned she didn’t know what to do with one of her classes because she was only going to have 5 kids there on Friday. I suggested that she could take her class to my room and her high schoolers could lead math games about telling time with my kids. It turned out great! My kids loved it! We had 5 groups and Miss Hayes even led a group! 

5. One a week I get to hand out with my second grade girls while another teacher hangs out with the boys. During this time we can work through different things that are happening amongst the boys and girls. I love this sweet time I have with my girls and we usually make a craft or play a game or read a book. This week we role played how to solve arguments amongst ourselves. We used gold fish to help us role play! I already saw some of my girls using the strategies we discussed and practiced using on the playground this week! 

Something New

I am going to try something new. I have found it hard to continually update this blog, between teaching, making the costumes for our schools musical, and much more I have been really busy. I am going to try to post a photo here every week to give you a glimpse into the happenings of second grade and my life here in Nicaragua! I hope you enjoy the first photo!

Today’s picture is a coloring page I painted this morning. Since finishing the costumes for my school’s performance of Beauty and the Beast two weeks ago I have taken a little break from sewing and been having fun with other creative outlets like painting! This morning as I was painting the saying in this picture sparked some thoughts; “some pursue happiness others create it” now as a Christian I believe my happiness comes from God, but I also believe that our God has placed talents and loves in our lives to give us happiness. For me, creating makes me happy, whether I am sewing, painting, crafting, or doodling it makes me happy to create something. This morning as I painted the morning away God was working in my heart and in my sour attitude from a bad day yeastsrday and He reastored my happiness. Hard times will come, sometimes I will feel stuck, but I am thankful for a God who knows how to make me happy. I am thankful for the God given ability to create! I am beautifully and wonderfully created by our creator and knowing that fills me with happiness! 

Have a beautiful Saturday! 

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is not just one special day each year, I believe Thanksgiving can be a season and it can also be a mindset. Yes, we should be thankful all the time, but truth is that in the busyness and craziness of life we often forget to be thankful. And the more we forget to be thankful the harder it can be. Each year as Summer turns to fall or in places with eternal summer (like Nicaragua), as August turns into September, September into October, and October into November we are reminded to be thankful. As a teacher, Thanksgiving preparations start a month in advance. We start practicing our thanksgiving program song, put together a bulletin board about Thankfulness, and I start planning a few extra Thanksgiving themed activities. Throughout the month leading up to Thanksgiving I am reminded over and over again to be thankful. It’s like during the winter when it is cold outside you are reminded to wear your jacket and depending on how cold it is maybe a hat and gloves; when you are anticipating Thanksgiving you are reminded to be thankful. This is the Thanksgiving season.

This year I am reminded that Thanksgiving should not just be one day a year. As preparations for Thanksgiving continued in my classroom and the days on the calendar showed the nearing of Thanksgiving, thoughts of thankfulness floated though my mind more frequently. Thankfulness for family, technology to stay connected with family, friends, community, students, supporters, mentors, a beautiful home, clothes, food, a savior, a Heavenly Father, and so much more. I even found myself giving thanks for dirty dishes in my kitchen sink because I am thankful to have a kitchen sink after washing my dishes out of my bathroom sink since May. When you are in the season of Thanksgiving it can sometimes seem easier to find things to be Thankful for. One of my second graders said to me, “Miss Johnson writing what I was thankful for was really hard the first time you asked us to write a list, but now that I keep thinking about it I would need one hundred pages to finish my thankful list.” This student is spot on. When we have not taken the time to be thankful it can be hard to come up with all the things we are thankful for, but when we let thankfulness flow throughout our mind and throughout our days being thankful becomes more than a holiday it becomes a mindset.

The meaning and purpose behind a day of giving thanks is beautiful, but this year I have learned that even a season of thanksgiving is not enough because seasons change. As I reflect on the past month I am amazed by the vast amount of things I have to be thankful for in the last month alone. As I look ahead to the Christmas season I want to continue to be thankful. In every situation I want to be thankful and give thanks to my God who continues to bless me more than I deserve.

Thanksgiving the holiday has come and gone, but let a mindset of thankfulness go with you throughout this Christmas season and beyond.

 

 

Lessons from the Rain

It is the rainy season here in Nicaragua and although it is not raining as much as it normally does (Nicaragua has been in a drought  for a couple years) it has been raining more frequently. I am one of those people who loves the rain. Reading a book or watching a movie to the pitter patter of rain is one of my most favorite things. I also love rain because it symbolizes growth and rejuvenation. To me rain is refreshing. When it rains, I usually see it as a beautiful moment, but not today or at least not in the same way I normally do.

My day was going along like a typical Tuesday, it was lunch time when it started raining. I was sitting at the teacher’s lunch table eating my lunch and enjoying the gentle rain and the conversation with my fellow teachers. Then the bell rang and I was brought back to my teacherly duties. Side note-One lesson I have learned from being a teacher: kids are affected by many things, the weather is one of those things. This was especially true today. My kids were wound up at the end of recess and it took much longer than usual to get them from the pavilion where they eat lunch to the classroom and on the rug ready for Bible class. AND with each second that passed it rained harder and harder. With metal roofs and open air classrooms that also means it got louder and louder. I was trying to teach my Bible lesson, (I had a fun lesson planned which I was really excited to teach) but I was getting frustrated because after only a couple minutes I had several students playing with their neighbors hair, one student attempting a break dancing move, one student was sticking a pencil up their nose, two students pretending to play the drums on the head of the student in front of them, some students were talking, some were facing away from me watching the rain, and only three students were looking at me even though they clearly did not want to be. I wanted to scream, I had really tried to plan an engaging lesson, but I was not even engaging my easily engaged students. I stopped my lesson, frustrated and annoyed, I asked my kids in a frustrated tone why they were having such a hard time focusing. One kiddo in the front raised her hand and when I called on her she yelled, “MISS JOHNSON WE CAN’T HEAR YOU. THE RAIN IS TOO LOUD.” Oh, yea, that explains it, okay new plan. I moved them to their seats and had to yell out the instructions for an independent activity because yes the rain really was quite loud.

As I was walking around watching them work I was thinking about what had just taken place. It occurred to me that my teaching during that bible lesson and my students inability to focus is a lot like God and us, His children. God is trying to teach us and lead us in the right direction, He has something awesome planned for us. However, Satan is using everything he can to drown out Gods teaching and leading. Satan uses worldly expectations, selfish desires, unexpected road blocks, pain and suffering, and more to try and drown out God’s voice. It is sometimes hard to pull God’s voice out of all the noise. I needed to wait with my lesson until the rain quieted so that my students could focus on my voice. God often waits for a quiet moment to clearly speak to us or he will find a way to speak above the noise. My frustrations today have helped me appreciate God’s persistence and patience. He does not let the loud noises and distractions in our lives keep us from His plan, He does not get frustrated or annoyed with us, He keeps trying and finds the right moment to teach us the lesson we need to learn. Today I am thankful for the loud rain which has reminded me how I am often distracted and struggle to focus on God’s voice and His leading. I need to find a way to quiet the noise and remove the distractions in order to focus on God and hear His teaching and leading.

 

I Never Thought I’d Ever…

As my first year teaching  and my first year living in Nicaragua comes to a close, some fellow first yearers and I decided to do a little reflecting on this past year. Together we came up with a list of things titled “I Never Thought I’d Ever” to describe the ups, downs, and crazy happenings of this past year. *Some of the things on this list did not happen to me but happened to a friend of mine. I hope you enjoy this fun reflection on my first year teaching and living in Nicaragua!

~have a monkey brought for show and tell.

~end up in the ER with a giant bug in my ear.

~get rear-ended by a motorcycle.

~participate in a corrupt system by paying off a police officer to escape a fraudulent fine.

~be pulled over 8 times in two weeks.

~witness water gushing out of my electrical sockets and live to tell the tale.

~kill a tarantula in my house.

~hear and see rolling waves of lava.

~vacation on a secluded Caribbean island for less than $500 (and snorkel with sharks and shipwrecks).

~get sent home from school unexpectedly due to political rioting.

~have an actual earthquake evacuation.

~want to go to the movies for a reason other than the movies. #AC

~have a shower-head that catches fire and pitches smoke at me.

~have a shower every day under something called a widow-maker.

~be called “grandma” by my students.

~own a car in another country.

~navigate the nameless streets of Nicaragua like a… pro!

~have every creature on God’s green earth fly through or live in my classroom (iguanas, bats, birds, rats, ants, geckos, beetles, cockroaches, termites, and butterflies, to name a few).

~watch a volcano erupt from our school office.

~teach in 102-degree heat. #noAC

~navigate public transportation in another language.

~have bronchitis for 3 months

~sweat all the time.

~be cold in 70-degree weather.

~love my second graders as much as I do!

~love living in Nicaragua as much as I do!

 

Through the good, bad, and the crazy I LOVE teaching and doing life in Nica land. God knew what He was doing when He called me here! This has not been a easy year, but I have grown and learned so much through it and would not have changed a thing about this past year! I am a better me because of it!

I am excited to see what year two brings!